Doing things
Jan. 5th, 2025 06:26 pm- been to the cinema (Paddington in Peru, clearly Not As Good As Paddington 2 but very enjoyable nonetheless)
- been for a walk (4.8 miles on a bright chilly day)
- been swimming, twice (first time since September, but we are trying hard to get back into it, and succeeded in not talking ourselves out of it yesterday because the air temperature was barely above freezing, which was absolutely the right decision because it was brilliant. And we have agreed a standing swimming date at 11am on Saturdays.)
- finished knitting a cardigan
- moved two of the belt loops on a pair of trousers I finished last month because I hadn't got the placement quite right, and also added belt loops to the softshell trousers I made a couple of years ago which are the perfect trousers for winter swimming tips except that the fabric was too heavy for the elastic so they tended to fall down. And now they won't, and that was worth the slightly fiddly sewing in deeply awkward fabric, and if I can only manage two hours of sewing in a day rather than a really long sewing session, so what? Very few of my me-made clothes are anywhere near wearing out, so sewing slowly is probably a good thing.
If I can keep swimming every Saturday (or even most Saturdays), and get in a couple of hours of sewing every weekend, that will already be a big improvement on most of last year. And I want to use my Fridays off for some tiny adventures, starting small but just trying to get my confidence about going places and doing things up again, because otherwise I'm just going to spend the rest of my life sitting at home feeling like something is missing and resenting T for having his own life and not wanting to do the same things I want to do. The thing I really want to do is to get on a train and go to the seaside and walk along a beach and eat fish and chips looking out over the water, and maybe even swim, but I think I probably need to start smaller; go somewhere different for a walk, maybe, or go to another town and potter round shops and cafes, or find an interesting exhibition to visit. Suggestions welcome, though I don't necessarily promise to take them.
2024 reading
Jan. 2nd, 2025 09:49 amFull list of books: ( behind the cut )
2024 was a year where I stopped doing a lot of things I'd previously enjoyed, mostly due to fundamental brokenness (five years of burning out at work and starting the year with your father's funeral will do that, never mind covid halfway through). One of those was writing about the books I'd read, because trying to write good reviews was feeling too much like hard work, but I miss talking about the books I've read, so I'm going to try to get back in the habit of doing that, even if I only write a couple of sentences rather than full reviews.
Meanwhile, if you're interested in my thoughts on any of the 2024 books, ask in comments, or give me a random number between 1 and 125 and I'll talk about the corresponding book.
2023 reading
Jan. 1st, 2024 07:43 pm( Read more... )
134 books.
16 by men, 108 by women, 11 by non-binary authors.
93 white, 11 PoC (some I didn't know).
30 by writers I know are some flavour of queer, 2 by trans authors
9 by writers with disabilities that I am aware of.
Most-read genre was fantasy (78). 21 SF, 2 historical, 17 romance, 2 contemporary fiction, 6 mystery, 19 non-fiction.
72 novels, 23 novellas, 8 novelettes, 2 short story collections, 9 graphic novels.
Most read author by some way Victoria Goddard (21 books). Other people I read more than one book by: Tansy Rayner Roberts (8); Alexis Hall (5); Olivia Atwater, T Kingfisher and Seanan McGuire (3 each); Blue Delliquanti, Stephanie Burgis, Eric Newby, Juliet E McKenna, Mur Lafferty and Freya Marske (2 each).
I aten't dead
Jul. 8th, 2023 07:43 pmI suspect that was mostly because term was busy and exhausting. The UCU marking and assessment boycott has been the crisis we really didn't need to round off the first "normal" academic year after three years of pandemic disruption and it has all been a bit much, really.
I haven't been swimming nearly enough, largely due to the A34 having been closed for roadworks almost every weekend since mid-May, meaning that the 20-minute drive to the river was taking an hour each way. I have been swimming regularly in the chlorine tank but that's just depressing, especially the utterly grim state of the changing rooms.
I haven't been walking much, either, even though I finally cracked and bought a DSLR and it does take great photos.
I am (obviously) quite depressed again but I'm not really sure what to do about that.
I had last week off work. We went to visit my parents (father: possibly a bit more mobile than last time but sleepy and confused and mildly cantankerous; mother: just tired) and were planning to have a day at the seaside, but the weather wasn't great and while you'd think that they're much closer to the sea than we are, it actually takes a good hour each way to get to the nearest coast, and that's just Great Yarmouth, and that felt like too much effort, especially as I'd managed to give myself food poisoning by eating bad hummus, missing the last day before my break (including saying farewell to my brilliant office manager, and the faculty garden party), and was still feeling a bit wobbly and occasionally nauseous at that point.
I am very tired. Which might also be the lingering effects of the food poisoning, or just life.
Finding myself in prose
Apr. 2nd, 2023 07:34 pmPicking this one up, I wondered vaguely if "books about autism" has now become a special interest. And then I remembered how, at the age of seven or eight, I was so obsessed with reading Doctor Spock's Book of Baby and Child Care (trying to work out what I was meant to be like) that my mother ended up hiding it from me. And then later, when I started to work out that I wasn't straight, I tried to find myself in queer fiction (of which not much was available in the local library, and none of it was terribly helpful, because I had no idea I was looking for ace rep and even if I had done, I don't think there was a lot of it about in the 80s).
Later on, I mostly tried to learn how to interpret and interact with other people from books, but I've always been trying to find myself there, too.
The return of the travel jinx
Apr. 1st, 2023 06:54 pmWe eventually got to our destination (Den Haag) just before 10pm, when we should have been there at lunchtime, and most restaurants and takeaways in the Netherlands close at 9:30. Fortunately, we had booked a studio with a kitchenette and the supermarket opposite the station was still open, so we were able to acquire microwavable food and make a cup of tea before collapsing into bed, but it was definitely the kind of journey that makes you wonder what the point of holidays is.
Fortunately, the rest of the break was much nicer. We went to the Mauritshaus (where we saw Fabritius's Goldfinch*, but not Girl with a Pearl Earring, as all the Vermeers were in Amsterdam for a big exhibition at the Rijksmuseum) and the Escher museum, and saw an incredible 19th-century panorama of the beach at Schevening, as well as walking to the actual beach at Schevening. We got a tram to Delft and had a potter around there, and we ate rijstaffel and poffertjes and apple cake, and also spent a lovely evening with
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And now we're home, and annoyingly I don't feel any less tired for having had a break (possibly because it was quite a busy break, really), plus the world is still washing up and down a bit from spending so much time on trains. And there's nothing like being in a country that isn't completely fucked for a few days to make you realise just how rubbish things actually are in the UK these days. We walked down streets free of litter and full of thriving shops, ate fantastic meals for about the same price as a chain restaurant in the UK, hopped on and off frequent and efficient (and, once again, clean) public transport even late at night. (Of course, Den Haag is also a capital city, and presumably has a generally well-off, educated and professional population who can afford to support the shops and restuarants, unlike Oxford, which is basically populated by students, academics and tourists and doesn't really support a professional class.)
*which prompted me to read Donna Tartt's novel of the same name, which I really don't recommend, as it basically reminded me of all the reasons I don't read literary fiction much; it's basically about unpleasant things happening to a fairly unpleasant and extremely privileged person, and then takes a hard swerve into gangster thriller territory about two-thirds of the way in. And it's almost 800 pages long.
Reading and watching
Jan. 11th, 2023 06:22 pmLess enjoyable was Empire of Light, which we went to see last night. From the trailers, I'd expected a nostalgic tribute to the power of cinema, possibly involving the restoration of a derelict building. I was not expecting a violent racist attack, and was definite not expecting a disturbing portrayal of severe mental illness leading to sectioning. I think it was a good film (and the cinematography was stunning) but it really wasn't much fun to watch.
Weekending
Jan. 8th, 2023 06:53 pmI did venture out yesterday to meet my swimming friends for coffee, as none of us is feeling up to swimming right now. We went to the cafe in Florence Park, which I'm told is very good, although at 3:45 on a Saturday they had a very limited range of cake and only enough chai left for one person when two of us would have liked it. On the other hand, the barista greeted us by saying that she didn't usually get three people at once with such excellent hair and telling us we looked like we should be in a punk band, which clearly we were all delighted by.
Reading: Till Human Voices Wake Us
Jan. 6th, 2023 06:43 pmCinemagoing
Jan. 3rd, 2023 06:53 pmWe've been four times so far.
The Banshees of Inisherin - beautifully-shot drama about the end of a friendship, set on an island off the coast of Ireland during the civil war.
Living - starring Bill Nighy as a local government officer in post-war London who is spurred by a terminal diagnosis to push through a project to convert a bombsite to a children's playground.
It's A Wonderful Life - pre-Christmas showing.
Corsage - a fictionalised version of a year in the life of Empress Elisabeth of Austria as she turns 40 and grapples with the restrictions of royal life. ('Corsage', in this case, turns out to refer to corsets, rather than the sense I was thinking of, which was those flower arrangements you pin to your clothes.)
2022 reading: final list
Jan. 1st, 2023 08:01 pm( Full list behind cut )
27 of them were graphic novels, which I do read faster than prose, and several were quite short (novellas/novelettes rather than novels). But still. (Also, two of them were The Hands of the Emperor and At the Feet of the Sun, which bring the averages back up again.)
Reading roundup
Dec. 31st, 2022 10:13 amA Case of Possession - K.J. Charles: the sequel to The Magpie Lord, a supernatural mystery set in Victorian London with a central m/m relationship. Quite a lot of explicit sex (as is typical for K.J. Charles) but a solid plot as well.
Act Your Age, Eve Brown - Talia Hibbert: the third of Hibbert's romances about the three Brown sisters. Both of the protagonists of this one are autistic, which I found particularly interesting, but the sex-to-conversation ratio was skewed a bit too much towards sex for me.
Burnout - Emily and Amelia Nagoski: an interesting and helpful look at the causes of burnout and how to recover from it.
Those Who Hold The Fire - Victoria Goddard: prequel short story to The Hands of the Emperor, very charming.
The Sandman: Overture - Neil Gaiman: both a prequel and an epilogue to the series. Clever and beautiful.
The Watchmaker of Filigree Street - Natasha Pulley: steampunky m/m romance. Clever plotting and very charming.
At the Feet of the Sun - Victoria Goddard: the sequel to The Hands of the Emperor, and the epic ace romance of my dreams.
But You Don't Look Autistic At All - Bianca Toeps: another memoir by an autistic woman. I found this one particularly interesting because the author is Dutch, and it was interesting to see how growing up with undiagnosed autism is both the same and different in different cultures.
Sisters of the Vast Black - Lina Rather: NUUUUNNSS IIIIIN SPAAAACE! Also, they are badass nuns who are working to oppose a fascist government.
The Raven and the Reindeer - T Kingfisher: a lovely sapphic reworking of The Snow Queen.
The Tower at the Edge of the World - Victoria Goddard: a short story set in the same universe as her other novels, giving an insight into one of the characters' backstory.
What Abigail Did That Summer - Ben Aaronovitch: Peter Grant's cousin Abigail gets mixed up in supernatural goings-on (with talking foxes) while Peter is away during the events of Foxglove Summer. Fun and nice to get a different point of view.
Hither, Page - Cat Sebastian: vaguely seasonally appropriate murder mystery-cum-m/m romance set in postwar England, very sweet.
Legends & Lattes - Travis Baldree: an orc mercenary decides to retire and open a coffee shop. A bit reminiscent of Pratchett, great fun, also very sweet and cosy.
The Red Scholar's Wake - Aliette de Bodard: a sapphic romance between a sentient pirate spaceship and a scavenger who has been taken prisoner. Gorgeously visual prose, full of swirling colours and images, beautifully romantic. Plus pirates.
In The Company Of Gentlemen - Victoria Goddard: another short set in the Nine Worlds, with a couple of glimpses of familiar characters.
Some random things make a post
Dec. 16th, 2022 06:31 pmI had to write a brief biography for a leadership course I'll be doing next year (leadership? Me? I don't know what they can be thinking) and ended with "I identify as queer, neurodivergent and a feminist and this fundamentally shapes my approach to work and life". Which felt...brave, but good.
I have also spent much of the week with an epic book hangover from finishing Victoria Goddard's At the Feet of the Sun, which is, basically, the epic ace romance of my dreams. And then I looked at the fic, and got annoyed that so many people seemed to think that the canon ace romance should develop into the characters having sex, and I got annoyed and ended up writing my own fic, in which they do not have sex. And I may have just outed myself as someone who prefers balance sheets to sex.
Reading roundup
Nov. 29th, 2022 06:36 pmThe Witness for the Dead - Katherine Addison: set in the same world as The Goblin Emperor, but not a direct sequel; a gentle fantasy murder mystery which I enjoyed a great deal.
The Ministry of Unladylike Activity - Robin Stevens: the first in her new series, following the adventures of May Wong (younger sister of Hazel from the Murder Most Unladylike books) during World War II. Great fun, with likeable characters, even if one of the plot points was easier to guess as an adult who had a Bad Feeling as soon as the characters ended up in Coventry in autumn 1940...
Doctor Who: At Childhood's End - Sophie Aldred: a tie-in novel which reunites Ace (one of my favourite Classic Series companions) with the Thirteenth Doctor.
Infomocracy - Malka Older: from the depths of the e-TBR pile, I really enjoyed this near-future thriller about electoral tampering in a world of divided into "microdemocracies", with each group of 100,000 able to select its own government.
Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble - Alexis Hall: sweet baking-themed m/m romance with a main character with anxiety, which was extremely relatable (possibly too relatable).
Lady Liesl's Seaside Surprise - Tansy Rayner Roberts: fun gaslamp fantasy mystery focusing on one of the side characters from the earlier Teacup Magic books.
The Return of Fitzroy Angursell - Victoria Goddard: the story of what happens when the Emperor from The Hands of the Emperor goes on his quest. An utter joy of a book, full of delightful coincidences. (And I do love a fantasy book where the narrator is extremely concerned about the availability of bathrooms, and makes use of a Bag of Holding to carry large numbers of cushions and other bedding.)
How to be Broken - Emma Kavanagh: a book about post-pandemic burnout which was very good on the causes and symptoms but less good on how to get over it.
Ocean's Echo - Everina Maxwell: m/m space opera romance, utterly lovely.
Undercover - Tamsyn Muir: a novelette(?) with zombies in a vaguely Western setting. Creepy and unsettling but very good.
The Redoubtable Pali Avramapul - Victoria Goddard: the sequel to The Return of Fitzroy Angursell. Features (a) a middle-aged female academic heroine; (b) a band of middle-aged adventurers; (c) a large number of nods to Dorothy L Sayers and is another delightful character-focused fantasy.
The Steerswoman - Rosemary Kirstein: classic fantasy novel from 1989, featuring a female variant of the brains-and-brawn odd-couple-travelling-together trope and some interesting ideas (the steerswomen travel around, making maps and answering people's questions, but the trade-off is that people have to answer their questions in return, and if they don't, they are cut off from that knowledge for ever). The first in a series, and I will be reading the others.
Rivers of London: Deadly Ever After - Ben Aaronovitch: the latest of the Rivers of London graphic novels.
Deep Wheel Orcadia - Harry Josephine Giles: this is a verse novel in Orcadian dialect (with parallel English prose translation) set aboard a remote space station. Hauntingly beautiful with wonderfully resonant language, addressing questions of home and belonging and the tradeoffs needed for a life on the geographical margins.
Portrait of a Wide Seas Islander - Victoria Goddard: a companion novella to The Hands of the Emperor, exploring one of the background characters in more depth and giving a different perspective on one of the scenes. This also brings some welcome explicitly queer content to the series, where the previous books I read had queer background characters but none in the foreground.
A Trifle Dead - Livia Day: Tasmania-set cosy murder mystery with cake (the heroine runs a cafe). Entertaining and not too serious, but really made me crave a flat white.
HRT questions
Nov. 16th, 2022 08:10 pmBut...what if the tiredness and brain fog aren't just because I've been under continual extreme stress at work for three years, and have had various non-work stresses as well? What if it is to do with menopause and HRT would help? (I was ranting the other week about medicalisation of normal life stages and capitalism not letting people just have less energy at some life stages than others, but however true that is it doesn't change the fact that capitalism is the ocean I'm swimming in.)
Anyway. What is your experience of HRT? In particular, has anyone had good experiences with HRT after bad experiences with hormonal contraception?
Reading sort-of roundup
Oct. 15th, 2022 06:44 pmI have been reading quite a lot of words, though.
Fierce Company - Stephanie Burgis: the last in her Good Neighbours fantasy romance series. Witty, fun, peril firmly set at "mild".
Back to the Bonnet - Jennifer Duke: in which Mary Bennett inherits a bonnet which enables her to travel in time and has fun making sure the events of Pride and Prejudice come out right. I thought the ending was a bit overcontrived but generally very entertaining.
The Letter of Marque - Patrick O'Brian: Aubrey and Maturin on the high seas again. Joyous as always.
When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain - Nghi Vo: the sequel to The Empress of Salt and Fortune sees Cleric Chih trading stories with tigers on a snowy mountain, and is just as charming as the first book.
Because Internet - Gretchen McCulloch: interesting look at the way the internet has shaped language.
Holiday Brew - Tansy Rayner Roberts: the second collection of Belladonna U novellas, as much fun as everything Rayner Roberts writes.
Petty Treasons - Victoria Goddard: prequel novella to The Hands of the Emperor showing Cliopher's early years in His Radiancy's service from His Radiancy's perspective. Absolutely delightful.
No Time To Spare - Ursula K Le Guin: a collection of Le Guin's blog posts, thoughtul and beautifully written.
Downstream - Caitlin Davies: a history of swimming in the Thames. More London and less upstream Thames than I'd hoped for, but actually really interesting.
Stim: An Autistic Anthology - ed. Lizzie Huxley-Jones: a collection of writing by autistic authors. I know that I enjoyed quite a few of the pieces here and found them very relatable, but I can't remember much about any of them now.
Dust-up At The Crater School - Chaz Brenchley: another term at the Martian version of the Chalet School, this one featuring a weeks-long dust storm and a Christmas pageant.
The Burning Page - Genevieve Cogman: third in the Invisible Library series, enjoyable and unchallenging.
Rowany Goes To Summer School - Chaz Brenchley: another Crater School-linked story, featuring the former Head Girl at a rather unorthodox summer school.
Beowulf - trans Maria Dahvana Headley: a modern feminist translation which uses the classic text to explore issues around toxic masculinity. I've never studied Old English and will never read Beowulf in the original, but I really enjoyed this take on it.
Nona the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir: the surprise fourth book in Tamsyn Muir's Locked Tomb trilogy is as different in style to the first two as they are to each other, but just as full of clues and puzzles to solve and just as much of an absolute delight.
Blackthorn Winter - Liz Williams: the sequel to Comet Weather has the same feeling of a grown-up version of the children's fantasy of the 1960s and 70s, full of timeslips and incursions of faerie into the modern world. Beautiful and lyrical, occasionally scary but somehow still deeply comforting.
Still Life - Sarah Winman: my mother recommended this to me, and I'm glad she did; it's a lovely book, which reminded me of The Enchanted April in the way its English characters are changed for the better by their encounter with Italy and continually open their arms to newcomers (as well as A Room With A View, which is a vivid background presence).
The Far Time Incident - Neve Maslakovic: in the Connie Willis time-travelling academics genre, but narrated by the administrator. I wanted to like this more than I actually did, alas.
Her Majesty's Royal Coven - Juno Dawson: a witchy adventure story which felt like it was conceived and written as a massive fuck-you to J.K. Rowling (intersectional feminism! Trans witches!). There was a lot I liked about this, and if it had ended a couple of chapters earlier I'd probably have said I loved it, but I really didn't like a few things about the ending and probably won't read the sequel which is out next year.
Heartstopper vol 4 - Alice Oseman: just as delightful as the first three.
The Way to the Stars - Una McCormack: I love all of the characters in Discovery, but Tilly is definitely one of my favourites and this novel about the events that led her to joining Starfleet was lovely.
The House in the Cerulean Sea - T.J. Klune: this is charming and managed to stay just the right side of too whimsical, and also didn't do what I feared it was going to do and decide that getting a small number of people out of a manifestly horrible system while leaving millions of others behind counted as a happy ended. (Yes, I'm looking at you, A Close and Common Orbit.)
The Year of Critical Rolls - Tansy Rayner Roberts; Untitled Cryptid Album - Tansy Rayner Roberts: more Belladonna U
Think of England - K.J. Charles: Edwardian adventure romance. Fun and also sweet.
The Last Graduate - Naomi Novik: the sequel to A Deadly Education. I really enjoyed this but found the last chapter almost impossible to get through as the tension was ratcheted up so high. I need to read a lot of fluff now, and possibly wait until I'm in a better headspace before I read the third book in the trilogy.
Reading: The Hands of the Emperor
Aug. 19th, 2022 06:58 pmMy goodness, I adored this.
The Hands of the Emperor is a huge, slightly rambling fantasy about a middle-aged bureaucrat who passionately longs to make the world a better place. Cliopher Mdang is the first person from his remote archipelago ever to enter the civil service in an empire spanning multiple world; his hard work and complete integrity have enabled him to rise to become the Emperor's personal secretary and head of the civil service. When he returns from a visit home and suggests that the Emperor takes a holiday, he finds that he has set in motion a chain of events that will fundamentally change both his relationship with the Emperor and, ultimately, the entire world.
This isn't a perfect book - it's very long, and, as I said, rambles a bit. Some things end up coming up multiple times, and the pacing is odd - a single evening can have multiple chapters, and the next one glosses over years almost without acknowledgement. Despite that, I loved it. The characters feel utterly real and likeable, the world they live in is fascinating (Goddard throws us in at the deep end, and the novel is full of references to earlier events that we only find out the details of later). As an administrator myself, I adored reading about another thoroughly competent administrator (and occasionally found myself wincing in sympathy at the pressures of Cliopher's job). And more than anything, I loved that this is 900-odd pages of people being kind and thoughtful and trying to make the world a better place. Wonderful, utterly absorbing comfort reading.
Sewing Bee
Aug. 14th, 2022 06:43 pmI went back to the first series, which I watched some of at the time but gave up on because I was a very new and unconfident sewer and watching people struggling to sew under time pressure just made sewing seem even more stressful. Rewatching from the point of view of a much more confident sewer, I thought that the first series, at least, didn't really seem to get the balance right, and spent much more time showing the contestants looking like they were on the verge of breaking down than looking competent and like they actually enjoyed sewing.
Also, I'd forgotten that Tilly from Tilly and the Buttons was on the first series. Her complete inability to deal with fitting her model's not actually very large bust explains quite a lot about her patterns. Also, how does someone who considers themself to be good enough to apply to go on a sewing-themed TV show have no idea how to add a patch pocket to a garment???