The Lake District was lovely. We did a fair amount of walking, including a couple of reasonably strenuous if not terribly long (5-6 mile) walks and a guided walk with alpacas, I swam in Loweswater and Buttermere, read books and admired the views.

Being at home feels odd, like I've forgotten how to live here in the space of a week. (Being on holiday properly for the first time in two and a half years also felt very odd to start with, so I'm sure it'll pass.)

I think I do feel much less tired, and properly relaxed for the first time in ages.

Also, I have come to the conclusion that if I want to avoid burning out again, I need two things: first, I need to stop trying to be responsible for everything and start making my staff take some of that on, and secondly, I need to feel like I have someone who has my back can help me work through problems. The first one is doable, for values of doable which involve consciously changing the way I manage and getting people who have got quite comfortable with the way things have been to accept that; the second is more difficult, when I currently have a part-time interim line manager who I only see once a month (and missed this month's, as it was the week before last when I was off sick), and my new head of department, as far as I can tell, basically thinks I am the person who solves the problems. (I assume that at some point I will have a new permanent line manager, but I'm not sure they've even advertised the post yet, so I have no idea when that might be.)

I spent most of yesterday in bed, much of it feeling too exhausted even to sit up and read a book.

Today I managed to get up and put clothes on, and then flopped on the sofa under a blanket and watched The Emperor's New Groove followed by Kiki's Delivery Service and then put the 2020 Emma* on in the background and read Sandman.

I've been doing daily lateral flow tests which keep coming out negative, but even for January this really isn't normal. I suppose it could be actual burnout, though covid still seems more likely...

*which is the last film I saw in the cinema, at the end of February 2020