Vampire crossover time (17/365)

[white_hart]

Thanks to a conversation on Twitter this morning, I find myself pondering the question of how various classic children's book series would play out as vampire stories. Who would be the chief vampire, and who would be the Slayer?

Chalet School - in the Tyrol days, the Robin is definitely the chief vampire, and Stacie Benson is the Slayer. In the Oberland, I'm pretty sure Joey Maynard is the chief vampire, and Emerence Hope might be the Slayer.

Antonia Forest - Patrick Merrick is definitely the vampire, and I think Fob is a Slayer in waiting.

The Famous Five - George is obviously the Slayer, and I think Anne is the vampire.

Swallows and Amazons - I don't want any of them to be the vampire! Maybe it's the Great-Aunt. And Dot is the Slayer.

Ballet Shoes - Posy is definitely the vampire, and Petrova is the Slayer.

What do you think, about these series or others?

Comments

[maia]

Ballet Shoes - Posy is definitely the vampire, and Petrova is the Slayer

OMG, yes!

[legionseagle]

Probably got turned by Madame Fidolia.

[legionseagle]

Squashy Hat would be a good vampire, having been turned on the voyage home, so that Captain Flint cannot understand the children's antipathy. Titty as Slayer, Dot as level-headed emotional support.

[white_hart]

That sounds like a perfect alternate version of Pigeon Post.

[legionseagle]

Obviously, Timothy would be one of those terribly conflicted vampires.

[white_hart]

He might even become a Black Ribboner. Or possibly he establishes a consensual relationship with Captain Flint and tops up with pigs' blood and black pudding.

[legionseagle]

He is now a Lancashire vampire (at least until 1973 rolls round, anyway) so the black puddings and pigs blood figure.

[legionseagle]

Nicola would slay Patrick if she had to. She'd be horribly upset afterwards, but she'd keep her hand steady on the stake during. But Miranda would spot what was off about him first.

[white_hart]

She definitely would. Ginty, on the other hand, would think it was all terribly romantic and waft about in a long white dress just asking to get bitten. And then when Patrick's teeth actually sank into her neck she'd scream so loud everyone came running and Ann would send him packing by brandishing the cross she always wears hidden discreetly under her jumper.

[legionseagle]

"You're being silly -" THWACK went Ann's swipe with the BCP, an inch from his nose.
"And melodramatic -" Another THWACK
"And a terrible embarrassment to your family -" THWACK
"Imagine what your ancestor who died at Tyburn --"
"With great grace and courage," Nicola completed automatically, and, at Patrick's white-faced glare of betrayal, felt like the most tremendous heel.
"With great grace and courage," Ann repeated, "and in sure and certain hope of a glorious -- ah, thank you, Miranda."
"No problem. It was just where you told me it would be. But -- as I think I said to Nick, once, don't you think this is all terribly, terribly unlikely?"
"Not in the slightest. Now, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, Patrick, pull yourself together!"
The holy water from the chapel stoup hit him full in the face.

As Nicola groggily thought, seeing the heap of dust into which he crumbled,not only was he now past pulling himself together, all the Queen's horses and all the Queen's men weren't likely to be able to make much of an inroad, either.

[ankaret]

I am laughing like a maniac at this.

[legionseagle]

Well, it was you who gave us Pomona Todd,Vampire Slayer and that's a tough act to follow.

[white_hart]

Oh, fabulous!

[tree_and_leaf]

Oh, splendid!

[jinty]

Superb! As are all the teeny fics.

[ankaret]

"I can't slay vampires," said Lawrie simply. "They flap at me."

[white_hart]

*sporfle*

Thank you. That was exactly what I needed to help me get through another meeting-packed Monday.

[legionseagle]

Peter would, of course, invite whoever the vampire was over the threshold in the first place.

[white_hart]

Of course he would.

[jinty]

Hah hah! All great, tho begs the obvious question, how are you classifying people as vampires or Slayers? By charisma / neediness for vamps, by seriousness / ability to make tough choices for Slayers?

[white_hart]

Toughness and moral fibre for Slayers, definitely, and for vampires charisma/neediness for most of them, though for some of them (eg Patrick Merrick) also a certain amount of general feyness.

[nineveh_uk]

Patrick Merrick is definitely the vampire, the emotional Carmilla sort making his way through the Marlows.

I actually have no fewer than two original fic vampire stories inspired by the Chalet School, and indeed by Robin.

[white_hart]

Robin is very clearly a terrifying child-vampire along the lines of the one in Interview with the Vampire. Her mother didn't die of TB at all, it was exsanguination, and the sarafan was red with blood...

[ankaret]

She eventually had to be handed over to a convent of Canadian warrior nuns who specialised in child vampire containment, and who also came in handy when Margot showed signs of turning, probably because she was bitten by Robin as a baby.

Everyone got very twitchy later on when she befriended 'biceps of an infant female Hercules' Emerence Hope, but fortunately Emerence turned out not to be a Slayer but an unusually compact were-wombat.

[tree_and_leaf]

Thanks, I very nearly choked on my coffee ;)

[alfykins]

I'm now trying to envision all of the Treasure Seekers in these roles and really wishing E Nesbit had written at least one vampire story in there. I think Albert Next-door would be a wonderfully stealthy vampire, luring them all into a false sense of safety by pretending to cry all the time and then he'd pick them off one by one.
The boys would all attempt to be Slayers and possibly write dreadful poetry about it and then one of the more sensible girls would finish him off.

[white_hart]

It's a long time since I read the Bastables and I can't really remember who was who, alas. I'm not sure who would be the vampire in Five Children and It but I think Jane would be the Slayer. (Maybe they just accidentally say something that the Psammead interprets as wanting to fight vampires?)

Bobbie in The Railway Children is clearly the stuff of which Slayers are made.

[callmemadam]

These comments are brilliant but leave Squashy Hat out!

[lokifan]

Alicia is the vampire, Darrell's the Slayer.