Reading: Memory

[white_hart]

I'm glad Mirror Dance clued me in to the fact that after the first couple of Miles books, the Vorkosigan saga really isn't the space opera romp that The Warrior's Apprentice and The Vor Game had made me think it would be, because if I'd gone into Memory expecting a space opera romp not only would I have been very disappointed, I suspect I would have completely failed to appreciate it anything like as much as it deserves.

I'd been told that Memory was a turning point for the series, and it clearly is; Miles starts the book following one path in his life, and ends it on a completely different path. It's also a detective story, although I was spoiled for the resolution of that plot by, of all things, an Ask A Manager comment thread about eighteen months ago and that didn't really seem to matter. (I suspect that even if I hadn't been spoiled for it I might have been able to work it out a long way ahead of the characters.) But what it really is is a serious novel about what happens when your life comes crashing down around your ears; about how you begin to put the pieces back together, and how you start to work out who you really are when you can't be the person you've spent years trying to be any more. It may be set on an alien planet, and it may have a few science fictional trimmings, but the core of the novel is as true and human as any piece of realistic literary fiction.

This is my favourite of the series so far by quite a long way. Partly this was because I liked seeing more of Barrayaran society, in all its complexity and absurdity*, but mostly it was because, for the first time, I was actually able to identify with Miles. Miles the cocky little sod of the earlier books was entertaining enough, but not someone I could relate to, whereas I can look at the Miles of Memory and understand what he's going through because I have been there; I know the despair of feeling like I'd lost everything I had ever worked for, and the slow, difficult process of rebuilding, and I really, really liked seeing that mirrored here on the page.

*I couldn't help reflecting that if anyone ever wrote an academic AU of Barrayar, it would basically be my workplace. Strictly hierarchical? Check. Clear differentiation between the elite caste and everyone else? Check. Absolute respect for tradition, however ridiculous? Check. Importance of personal reputation and influence to actually get anything done? I rest my case.

Comments

[hilarita]

Memory is absolutely one of my favourite books. It was recced to me when my life was falling apart, and it is very, very satisfying to see Miles rebuild himself.

[white_hart]

Someone (or possibly more that one someone) had told me it was really tough going, but although Miles-in-despair was hard to read because I can remember very vividly exactly how that feels it was over quite quickly, and other than that I found it really rather a hopeful book in its absolute commitment to a fresh start being possible.

[hilarita]

I actually find Miles-in-despair hard, but not as hard as Miles-fucking-up-because-he's-trying-to-avoid-the-confrontation. And then, the book does get hopeful, and interesting, as all the politics plays out.

[white_hart]

Yes, Miles-fucking-up-and-not-yet-realising-it is difficult, because it was really, really obvious from the moment he got the recall that the jig was up and yet he still carries on and digs himself even deeper into the hole. Which is obviously necessary for the plot, because he needs to hit bottom so he can turn things around, but it didn't half make me want to slap him round the head with a clue-by-four.

[(Anonymous)]

I find that first scene in Simon's office practically impossible to reread. I think it's probably the best of all the Barrayar novels, but the bit where Simon's offering Miles every opportunity to come clean and he just won't is hideously painful.

[white_hart]

It is. And it's just so obvious, in the run-up, every time he has a twinge of conscience that that's the way he should go, and he keeps ignoring that.

[hilarita]

Though, re-reading it recently, I found it useful for getting perspective. In that I haven't managed to cause collateral damage with my fuckups.

[white_hart]

True: “at least I haven’t accidentally severed someone’s legs” is a comforting thought in tough times.

[nanila]

Omg, Barrayar as elite academic institution is such an incisive reading! O.O

[white_hart]

It was this passage that did it:

"He has a very personal system for running the place," Galeni observed. "It's quite Vorish, really. Most non-Barrayaran organisations attempt to define their tasks so as to make the people who hold them interchangeable parts. It assures organizational continuity."

"And eliminates inspiration. Illyan's leadership style isn't very flashy, I admit, but he's flexible and infinitely reliable."

I read that, and then not very long after found myself trying to explain the management culture at my organisation in very similar terms, and the rest just fell into place.

[machiavellijr]

Barrayar as Our Mutual Employer is certainly alarmingly accurate. Though I don't think we're ever introduced to a Vor who refers to proles in public as "pond-life" (in an all-staff email, no less!)

[white_hart]

I bet there is one, though.

[machiavellijr]

At least I can imagine said inevitable Vor suffering a plague of Imperial Auditors. I can't see any such thing happening to the faculty of the idiot in question.

[used_songs]

I started rereading Memory because your post reminded me how much I enjoyed the Miles books the first time. It’s taking me a while to get back into the world, but I’m getting there.