Chalet Wars
Jan. 7th, 2016 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
white_hartI can only apologise for the bonkersness of this post, which is brought to you courtesy of two hours spent consuming rather more jelly babies than was entirely sensible while sitting in a meeting about budget savings, a combination almost guaranteed to result in temporary insanity...
I was thinking about the various elements of the plot of The Force Awakens earlier, and which bits I was really glad I hadn't known about before I saw it because seeing them unspoilered had the same kind of shock value as Obi-Wan's death in the original Star Wars* and "Luke, I am your father**" did first time round. And I reflected that Kylo Ren's parentage wasn't one of them, because I'd been expecting him to be related to someone from the original trilogy, because this is Star Wars and people always end up being related to each other***. "Just like in the Chalet School books", I thought.
And then obiviously I spent my walk to the bus stop thinking about what would happen if the Chalet School was Star Wars. Obviously, Joey Maynard would be Leia, because she has the hairdo; at first I thought that must make Jack Maynard Han, but actually I think he's more of a C3PO and my choice for Han is Hilda Annersley, with Nell Wilson as Chewie****. I suppose that makes Madge and Mademoiselle Obi-Wan and Yoda. And the Robin is, frankly, the Jar-Jar Binks of the Tiernsee.
As for the Dark Side, I can easily see Margot Maynard going off the rails and turning into Kylo Ren. I can't think of an obvious Vader candidate though if the Nazis are the Dark Side I suppose it could be Betty Wynne-Davies.
And obviously, Mary-Lou Trelawny is a Sith Lord. I think this is probably true in canon.
*which I refused to call "A New Hope". Just "Star Wars" is what I grew up calling it and what I'm going to keep calling it.
**though I think my father might have spoilered that one for me before I saw The Empire Strikes Back, but I may only think that because he quoted the line on a regular basis. Guess what my middle brother is called?
***Well, they may not in the prequels; I have never managed to get all the way through any of them.
****Sod Han/Leia, Han/Chewie is my OTP. Also, do we actually have any evidence that Chewie is actually male or does everyone just assume that because of the height and the basso growl?
I was thinking about the various elements of the plot of The Force Awakens earlier, and which bits I was really glad I hadn't known about before I saw it because seeing them unspoilered had the same kind of shock value as Obi-Wan's death in the original Star Wars* and "Luke, I am your father**" did first time round. And I reflected that Kylo Ren's parentage wasn't one of them, because I'd been expecting him to be related to someone from the original trilogy, because this is Star Wars and people always end up being related to each other***. "Just like in the Chalet School books", I thought.
And then obiviously I spent my walk to the bus stop thinking about what would happen if the Chalet School was Star Wars. Obviously, Joey Maynard would be Leia, because she has the hairdo; at first I thought that must make Jack Maynard Han, but actually I think he's more of a C3PO and my choice for Han is Hilda Annersley, with Nell Wilson as Chewie****. I suppose that makes Madge and Mademoiselle Obi-Wan and Yoda. And the Robin is, frankly, the Jar-Jar Binks of the Tiernsee.
As for the Dark Side, I can easily see Margot Maynard going off the rails and turning into Kylo Ren. I can't think of an obvious Vader candidate though if the Nazis are the Dark Side I suppose it could be Betty Wynne-Davies.
And obviously, Mary-Lou Trelawny is a Sith Lord. I think this is probably true in canon.
*which I refused to call "A New Hope". Just "Star Wars" is what I grew up calling it and what I'm going to keep calling it.
**though I think my father might have spoilered that one for me before I saw The Empire Strikes Back, but I may only think that because he quoted the line on a regular basis. Guess what my middle brother is called?
***Well, they may not in the prequels; I have never managed to get all the way through any of them.
****Sod Han/Leia, Han/Chewie is my OTP. Also, do we actually have any evidence that Chewie is actually male or does everyone just assume that because of the height and the basso growl?
