Apparently, today is World Mental Health Day (283/365)

[white_hart]

In my experience, this is normally seen as an opportunity for corporations/people who have been fortunate enough never to have suffered from mental ill-health to spout platitudes about how "it's OK not to be OK" and we just need to "reach out" and "keep talking" and "help is out there". All of which I can attest, from the point of view of a person who has been suffering from mental ill-health on and off (mostly on) for nearly 40 years now, to be complete and utter bollocks.

This World Mental Health Day, I'm almost two years into a period of incredible stress at work, as well as being eighteen months into a global pandemic. I am very nearly at the end of my reserves and have just increased my dose of citalopram from 20mg a day to 30mg (having remembered that I was prescribed a higher dose a few months ago but dropped back down after a few weeks because it didn't seem to be doing much and I was deeply sceptical that more antidepressants would help with burnout) in the hope that it will stop me wanting to cry all the time. I am very definitely not OK, and I am very much not OK with this.

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

Much hugs

[white_hart]

Thank you.

[lilysea]

Much empathy and solidarity

Psychologists are so out of reach due to $$$ for so many people

and then it's so hard to find a good one

[I've seen more than 15, and only five of them were any good]

and they almost always insist on trying to force eye contact even when you tell them you can think/talk OR eye contact, but not both

and their offices are so often not wheelchair accessible

and/or full of perfume/air fresher = migraine trigger, and...

[white_hart]

Yes, all of this. If you can't afford private therapy the most you'll get is computerised CBT, and CBT really doesn't work for me.

[chiasmata]

Is that still definitely true? I say that only because I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to access 8+ sessions of interpersonal therapy through IAPT as a self-referral. It was very, very good therapy, too. Obviously YMMV, what happens in one part of the country may not happen in another, etc etc...

[white_hart]

I haven't tried in a while but last time I spoke to a GP about mental health she said the waiting lists were huge so I wouldn't hold out much hope. (Also, I think I'm too good at pretending to be a normal human being so never get assessed as really needing much support.)

[chiasmata]

I’m sorry; that’s so rubbish. It’s especially hard when a thing that might help requires so much hurdle-jumping, when hurdle-jumping is made harder by depression.

[hilarita]

You've just reminded me that of course one big benefit of WMHD being on a weekend is that I've not (yet) had to read a patronising Wellness email from HR. It does nothing for the crushing Everything, but at least I don't additionally feel like murder.

[white_hart]

That is very true! Though it's not impossible there'll be one on Monday...

[hilarita]

Also I feel very strongly that universities (and other workplaces too) should not be able to send you emails extolling mindfulness until they've actually done something concrete to address workload, pay, job security, bullying & harassment.

[white_hart]

100% agreed!

[tree_and_leaf]

Hear, hear!

[kotturinn]

I hear you. Not being OK is hard.

[white_hart]

It is hard. We need well-funded support services and more effective and easier to access treatment, not to be told that it's OK to be this way.

[kotturinn]

100% There may have been a genuine reason for coming up with that 'snappy slogan' (& thinking back to my family's experience in previous centuries I can kinda see the point in something along those lines) but, like so many others, it has increasingly been used mindlessly & to avoid actually doing anything.

[honigfrosch]

I feel like their "it's OK not to be OK" often implies "so we don't have to adress any of it". People can just do yoga or meditate or hit the gym for that precious work-life balance, right? Plus there's half-hour back exercises and fresh fruit three times a week! We did our part, the rest is up to YOU!

[white_hart]

Yes, it is very much linked to the "wellbeing" agenda which all seems to be about how you just need to do some yoga or go for a nice walk and that will solve everything.

[callmemadam]

I totally agree with this. There's a BUPA ad about 'what is normal' and it's OK to be your kind of normal. If normal is feeling like shit all the time, it is not OK.

[white_hart]

Yes. It's fine to be my kind of normal when that means making weird geek jokes and preferring written communication over spoken, but spending all the time wanting to cry/having suicidal ideation shouldn't be considered "normal" for anyone.

[ankaret]

It is bollocks. If I see one more suggestion that I practice mindfulness I may do someone a mischief.

I am sorry it's being rough. Being able to recognise when you're nearly out of cope is a valuable skill in itself, I think, but the problem is getting other people to respect it. Much love.

[white_hart]

Yes, recognising it is not much help when I can't just take a couple of weeks, or perhaps a month, off to recuperate. Which I think is what is needed at this point, but it isn't going to happen unless I get to the stage of actual collapse, so I just keep trying to prop bits of myself up instead.

[cmcmck]

I'm sorry you have to put up with this and yes, it is utter bollocks.

I speak from years of cis people who claim to know my body better than I do.

Hugs

[white_hart]

*hugs* back.

[alithea]

I hear you *hugs*

[white_hart]

Thank you.

[crinolinerobot]

Yeah, I'm just ignoring that day. None of the suggestions big organisations make are helpful. We've just got to keep helping each other through and pick each other up when we fall.

(My all-time favourite from a work email is 'Walking is good for mental health - why not make your next meeting a working meeting?' It's like something out of a very pointed satire...)