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white_hart) wrote2008-01-11 04:22 pm
white_hart) wrote2008-01-11 04:22 pm
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[Fic] A New Spell, part 5 (final part)
Buffy/Chalet School crossover, set immediately after the ends of Buffy season 6 and about Prefects of the Chalet School. Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, the Chalet School belongs to the estate of Elinor M Brent-Dyer. Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4. Contains character death.
The spell was a complicated one, and it took Len several days to assemble all the required ingredients. Parts of it seemed a little obscure, but the description of the ritual was clear enough. She didn’t tell the coven what she was doing, sensing that they would disapprove somehow; instead, she worked the spell by herself, locked in her room at midnight. When it was over, she collapsed into her bed, utterly drained, but at least she would be free of Reg, free to stay in Oxford and continue with her magic.
She dreamt of Reg that night; drowning, falling, being carried away by whirlwinds, always holding out his hand to hers, asking her to save him, and every time she refused, standing steadfastly with her arms at her sides. Despite this, she woke feeling refreshed and happier than she had for months, and in her tutorial she told Dr Ross that she had changed her mind and would like to apply for the MSt. It took an effort to restrain herself from checking her pigeonhole every hour; he wouldn’t cable, of course, and letters from the Gornetz Platz took several days. But soon, surely, she would receive the letter telling her he no longer loved her.
The following evening she was working in her room when there was a knock at the door. She opened it, expecting it to be one of her friends, and was astonished to find a tall woman whose dark hair was wound in great coils around her ears standing there, her face serious.
‘Mamma!’ Len exclaimed. ‘What are you doing here? Is something wrong? It’s not Papa, is it?’
Joey Maynard stepped forward to enfold her firstborn in a warm embrace. ‘I’m so sorry, Len,’ she said, her golden voice full of sorrow. ‘There’s been an accident on the Platz. It’s Reg, darling.’
Len paled. ‘Is he badly hurt?’
‘He was driving back from the San late at night when his car went off the road, just where it runs close to the cliff. We think he must have swerved to avoid an animal and lost control; the car drove straight into the cliff. My darling, I’m afraid he’s with God now.’
Len felt the world start to swim around her. That’s not what I meant was all she thought before collapsing in a dead faint.
***
The weeks that followed were a blur. There were only two weeks of the term left, and the college agreed that Len could return to the Platz with Joey. Reg’s funeral was a quiet affair in the Chalet School’s chapel, attended by his colleagues from the San and friends from the surrounding area. Len sat quietly and said little when anyone spoke to her, knowing that she didn’t deserve their sympathy when it was her selfishness that had caused Reg’s death.
Joey Maynard watched her eldest daughter closely, worried by the way she seemed to have withdrawn into herself. ‘But she’s not a little girl any more,’ she told herself, and remembered how she had been when Jack was believed dead. She was still taken aback when Len announced her intention of returning to Oxford with Con for the start of term.
‘What is there for me here?’ asked Len, in response to her mother’s entreaty that she stay at Freudesheim for longer. ‘Reg is gone, and everything here reminds me of him. At least my life in Oxford will help me to forget, and it would be silly to risk my degree. I’ll need it even more, as it looks like I’ll have to earn my living after all.’
Back in Oxford, she threw herself into her studies and avoided the members of the coven as much as possible, telling them that she no longer wanted to practice magic. She was unsurprised to receive another invitation to tea with Dr Green, which she declined, pleading a prior engagement. However, that lady had listened intently to the accounts Len’s fellow coven members gave of her state of mind, and had privately observed in Hall that the girl looked pale and tired, so she made it her business to seek her out.
Len had been sitting at her desk with a book open in front of her for half an hour, not taking anything in, when Dr Green opened the door of her room without knocking, walked in and sat in the easy-chair.
‘Now, Miss Maynard, what is all this I hear about you giving up your magic? And Dr Ross is most disappointed that you have changed your mind about further study. I am most dreadfully sorry to hear about your sad loss last term, but I don’t quite see why you should be planning not to stay in Oxford just when you are free to do so.’
Len flushed angrily. ‘I really would prefer not to discuss it,’ she replied coldly. ‘I have changed my mind, and that’s all there is to it.’
‘No,’ said Dr Green. ‘I don’t believe that is all there is to it. And your talent for magic is far too strong to stay bottled up forever. However determined you are not to use it, when you are under great pressure you will find that you can’t help yourself. I’ve seen it in others; the effect is rather akin to a dam bursting, and can have disastrous consequences for those around the witch.’
‘You mean I can’t stop? But…but…but what if I hurt someone else?’
‘That is why you need to stay here, to practice and learn control. The greater the power, the greater the understanding required for control.’
Len looked down. ‘But I’ve already done terrible things. If you knew…’ she broke off.
‘Knew what, Miss Maynard?’
‘I – I killed my fiancé. Reg. It’s all my fault! I just wanted him to stop loving me; I didn’t mean him to die!’
‘Your spell killed him?’ Dr Green looked serious. ‘I find it hard to believe that anyone could have cast such dark magic in this college without alerting me, but my wards aren’t foolproof. Show me the spell you used!’ Len fumbled out her notebook and passed it across. Dr Green studied the spell, and when she looked up relief was written in her features.
‘This isn’t a killing-spell, my dear, although it is a very powerful confusion charm. I do believe that it would have been strong enough to alter your fiancé’s feelings, but it should not have killed him. Can you tell me what actually happened?’
‘His car left the road, and crashed into the cliff. He was killed instantly.’
‘I see. And this was around the time you were working the spell?’ Len nodded. ‘Ah. Then I think I understand. The confusion created by the spell would leave the subject disoriented for a short while. Someone driving a car might well be involved in an accident as a result. If he had been asleep in his bed then he might still be alive.’ She looked into Len’s eyes, and Len looked away. ‘I can’t tell you that you were not to blame, because you were. It was a foolish and irresponsible thing to do, and I sincerely hope that you will think twice or even thrice before trying such a thing again. Magic is truly dangerous, and the real danger is when we try to use it for selfish reasons. However, you are not the only person to have done things they regretted, and those who tried to turn their back on magic after were far more likely to do so again. If you stay in Oxford then there are many people who can help you to learn to control your power and judge the true consequences of spells, and in time you will be able to help others in your turn.’
***
Oxfordshire, 2002
‘So I stayed at Oxford, and I took my doctorate. And then I taught, and I helped Dr Green to find the students who were practicing magic and tried to help them not to make the mistakes I had done. That’s how I met Rupert, and some of the others.’ Helena looked at Willow curiously as she concluded her story; the girl had been listening intently.
‘But you still feel bad? About Reg?’
‘Oh yes. I’ll never escape that; I only hope that the good things I’ve done have outweighed it in the end. It gets easier, though.’
‘And does everyone here have a story like that?’
‘Something along those lines. The lucky ones only caused nasty compound fractures, but several of us have innocent souls on our consciences.’
Willow looked thoughtful. ‘The guy I killed was kind of a pain. In a supervillainy sort of way. And he did kill Tara, and he tried to kill Buffy, so not so much with the innocent there. Although I guess no-one died and made me the law. Plus the whole nearly bringing about the end of the world thing isn’t so good.’ She looked down and scuffed her feet back and forth. ‘But I guess maybe if you guys can all do it so can I. You think?’
Helena smiled at her. ‘I think. We’re all here to help you, and I’m sure you can do it. And now shall we go inside for supper?’
Willow stood up and offered Helena her arm, and they made their way across the twilit lawn back to the house. Rupert glanced from one to the other as they entered the kitchen, sensing a change in Willow, an optimism that hadn’t been there before. He smiled his thanks to Helena; the others picked up on the mood without really understanding it, and there was a levity over supper that had been absent from their meals since the day they had sent Rupert across the world to save it, and to save Willow.
The spell was a complicated one, and it took Len several days to assemble all the required ingredients. Parts of it seemed a little obscure, but the description of the ritual was clear enough. She didn’t tell the coven what she was doing, sensing that they would disapprove somehow; instead, she worked the spell by herself, locked in her room at midnight. When it was over, she collapsed into her bed, utterly drained, but at least she would be free of Reg, free to stay in Oxford and continue with her magic.
She dreamt of Reg that night; drowning, falling, being carried away by whirlwinds, always holding out his hand to hers, asking her to save him, and every time she refused, standing steadfastly with her arms at her sides. Despite this, she woke feeling refreshed and happier than she had for months, and in her tutorial she told Dr Ross that she had changed her mind and would like to apply for the MSt. It took an effort to restrain herself from checking her pigeonhole every hour; he wouldn’t cable, of course, and letters from the Gornetz Platz took several days. But soon, surely, she would receive the letter telling her he no longer loved her.
The following evening she was working in her room when there was a knock at the door. She opened it, expecting it to be one of her friends, and was astonished to find a tall woman whose dark hair was wound in great coils around her ears standing there, her face serious.
‘Mamma!’ Len exclaimed. ‘What are you doing here? Is something wrong? It’s not Papa, is it?’
Joey Maynard stepped forward to enfold her firstborn in a warm embrace. ‘I’m so sorry, Len,’ she said, her golden voice full of sorrow. ‘There’s been an accident on the Platz. It’s Reg, darling.’
Len paled. ‘Is he badly hurt?’
‘He was driving back from the San late at night when his car went off the road, just where it runs close to the cliff. We think he must have swerved to avoid an animal and lost control; the car drove straight into the cliff. My darling, I’m afraid he’s with God now.’
Len felt the world start to swim around her. That’s not what I meant was all she thought before collapsing in a dead faint.
***
The weeks that followed were a blur. There were only two weeks of the term left, and the college agreed that Len could return to the Platz with Joey. Reg’s funeral was a quiet affair in the Chalet School’s chapel, attended by his colleagues from the San and friends from the surrounding area. Len sat quietly and said little when anyone spoke to her, knowing that she didn’t deserve their sympathy when it was her selfishness that had caused Reg’s death.
Joey Maynard watched her eldest daughter closely, worried by the way she seemed to have withdrawn into herself. ‘But she’s not a little girl any more,’ she told herself, and remembered how she had been when Jack was believed dead. She was still taken aback when Len announced her intention of returning to Oxford with Con for the start of term.
‘What is there for me here?’ asked Len, in response to her mother’s entreaty that she stay at Freudesheim for longer. ‘Reg is gone, and everything here reminds me of him. At least my life in Oxford will help me to forget, and it would be silly to risk my degree. I’ll need it even more, as it looks like I’ll have to earn my living after all.’
Back in Oxford, she threw herself into her studies and avoided the members of the coven as much as possible, telling them that she no longer wanted to practice magic. She was unsurprised to receive another invitation to tea with Dr Green, which she declined, pleading a prior engagement. However, that lady had listened intently to the accounts Len’s fellow coven members gave of her state of mind, and had privately observed in Hall that the girl looked pale and tired, so she made it her business to seek her out.
Len had been sitting at her desk with a book open in front of her for half an hour, not taking anything in, when Dr Green opened the door of her room without knocking, walked in and sat in the easy-chair.
‘Now, Miss Maynard, what is all this I hear about you giving up your magic? And Dr Ross is most disappointed that you have changed your mind about further study. I am most dreadfully sorry to hear about your sad loss last term, but I don’t quite see why you should be planning not to stay in Oxford just when you are free to do so.’
Len flushed angrily. ‘I really would prefer not to discuss it,’ she replied coldly. ‘I have changed my mind, and that’s all there is to it.’
‘No,’ said Dr Green. ‘I don’t believe that is all there is to it. And your talent for magic is far too strong to stay bottled up forever. However determined you are not to use it, when you are under great pressure you will find that you can’t help yourself. I’ve seen it in others; the effect is rather akin to a dam bursting, and can have disastrous consequences for those around the witch.’
‘You mean I can’t stop? But…but…but what if I hurt someone else?’
‘That is why you need to stay here, to practice and learn control. The greater the power, the greater the understanding required for control.’
Len looked down. ‘But I’ve already done terrible things. If you knew…’ she broke off.
‘Knew what, Miss Maynard?’
‘I – I killed my fiancé. Reg. It’s all my fault! I just wanted him to stop loving me; I didn’t mean him to die!’
‘Your spell killed him?’ Dr Green looked serious. ‘I find it hard to believe that anyone could have cast such dark magic in this college without alerting me, but my wards aren’t foolproof. Show me the spell you used!’ Len fumbled out her notebook and passed it across. Dr Green studied the spell, and when she looked up relief was written in her features.
‘This isn’t a killing-spell, my dear, although it is a very powerful confusion charm. I do believe that it would have been strong enough to alter your fiancé’s feelings, but it should not have killed him. Can you tell me what actually happened?’
‘His car left the road, and crashed into the cliff. He was killed instantly.’
‘I see. And this was around the time you were working the spell?’ Len nodded. ‘Ah. Then I think I understand. The confusion created by the spell would leave the subject disoriented for a short while. Someone driving a car might well be involved in an accident as a result. If he had been asleep in his bed then he might still be alive.’ She looked into Len’s eyes, and Len looked away. ‘I can’t tell you that you were not to blame, because you were. It was a foolish and irresponsible thing to do, and I sincerely hope that you will think twice or even thrice before trying such a thing again. Magic is truly dangerous, and the real danger is when we try to use it for selfish reasons. However, you are not the only person to have done things they regretted, and those who tried to turn their back on magic after were far more likely to do so again. If you stay in Oxford then there are many people who can help you to learn to control your power and judge the true consequences of spells, and in time you will be able to help others in your turn.’
***
Oxfordshire, 2002
‘So I stayed at Oxford, and I took my doctorate. And then I taught, and I helped Dr Green to find the students who were practicing magic and tried to help them not to make the mistakes I had done. That’s how I met Rupert, and some of the others.’ Helena looked at Willow curiously as she concluded her story; the girl had been listening intently.
‘But you still feel bad? About Reg?’
‘Oh yes. I’ll never escape that; I only hope that the good things I’ve done have outweighed it in the end. It gets easier, though.’
‘And does everyone here have a story like that?’
‘Something along those lines. The lucky ones only caused nasty compound fractures, but several of us have innocent souls on our consciences.’
Willow looked thoughtful. ‘The guy I killed was kind of a pain. In a supervillainy sort of way. And he did kill Tara, and he tried to kill Buffy, so not so much with the innocent there. Although I guess no-one died and made me the law. Plus the whole nearly bringing about the end of the world thing isn’t so good.’ She looked down and scuffed her feet back and forth. ‘But I guess maybe if you guys can all do it so can I. You think?’
Helena smiled at her. ‘I think. We’re all here to help you, and I’m sure you can do it. And now shall we go inside for supper?’
Willow stood up and offered Helena her arm, and they made their way across the twilit lawn back to the house. Rupert glanced from one to the other as they entered the kitchen, sensing a change in Willow, an optimism that hadn’t been there before. He smiled his thanks to Helena; the others picked up on the mood without really understanding it, and there was a levity over supper that had been absent from their meals since the day they had sent Rupert across the world to save it, and to save Willow.
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I'm amazed so many people who've never read the CS books have enjoyed this! And pleased, obviously :-)